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closeMore than one way to be a mom
Joan Cronk / for The Herald
Kathy McAlpine, Julie Stockdale, Jana Wilson and Lynn Batchelder are all moms and, as such, are looking forward to Mother’s Day. All of them want what is best for their children. They spend quality time with the kids, coaching sporting events, volunteering in their classrooms, taking treats to school and hosting sleepovers. They referee sibling arguments and patch up skinned knees. They are all loving, committed moms — and they are all lesbians.
McAlpine, who has two children and is a lieutenant with the Tacoma Police Department, said being a mom is a very rewarding experience.
“Once you decide to have a child you are definitely out of the closet,” she said, explaining that she wondered if people would have a knee-jerk reaction to her decision to become pregnant.
However, her co-workers were supportive and even threw her a baby shower before her oldest child was born. McAlpine said she has never felt any discrimination in the workplace.
She added that folks in Puyallup have accepted her family and her lifestyle and, “if they had a problem with it, they kept it to themselves.”
Julie Stockdale would agree. She is a single mom with three children, an 11-year-old daughter and twin boys who are 6. Stockdale is part owner of a custom woodworking firm.
Like any other single mom, Stockdale finds herself doing a balancing act as she manages running her business, maintaining her home and raising kids.
“I have to say, I have had a majority of nothing but positive response. I feel blessed by the fact that I am of a generation that is more accepting of this lifestyle,” Stockdale said.
She has a large network of friends, heterosexual and gay, and family that support her.
“I know there are people who are trying to get their head around it,” Stockdale said, speaking of her lifestyle, “but outwardly there is no negative reaction.”
Wilson, who is a single mom of twin 9-year-olds, said she is not embarrassed about her lifestyle.
“I don’t parade around and talk about my lifestyle,” she said, “but I don’t hide it either.”
She volunteers one day a week at school and coaches their sporting teams.
Wilson has always been up-front with her daughters’ teachers, explaining her family dynamics to them in private so if something came up, the teacher would be on top of the problem. So far, so good.
Wilson is lucky enough to live right next door to her parents, who provide back up and love on a daily basis.
Lynn Batchelder, who is McAlpine’s partner, coaches sports at a local high school and runs a business out of their home. She shows an obvious love and commitment to being a parent, and is grateful to be able to help raise the next generation.
“We are teaching kids about tolerance,” she said, adding that their friends in Puyallup have been amazing and supportive of their lifestyle.
Stockdale seconds that statement and said, “We raise our kids to have strong values and one of the largest is respect.”
She acknowledges that sometimes it takes time and patience to have folks accept differences and she feels raising children with really good principles and ethics is important.
These moms are a generation of women blazing the trail for those who will follow in their footsteps.
McAlpine, Stockdale, Wilson and Batchelder are not unlike all other moms on Mother’s Day. They just want what is best for their kids and are grateful that this generation is more accepting of any differences.
“I would just like to prove to people that good people can have non-traditional families,” Stockdale said.